Don’t Concern Yourself With That Book

“Are you alright with that?”

“I’m alright. Obviously.”

I touched my neck which had been wrapped in bandages. The pain was now dulling. Even if I touched my neck, it did not hurt. But in the first place, the pain had been caused by his master. I did not know if he was sincerely comforting me but I still thought it would have been better if I had never met Castor in the first place. It would have been nice if I had not found out that this world was just a novel even if I would be stuck in the small world that was my palace for the rest of my life.

“You look very different from when I first saw you.”

“Do you mean your first impression of me?”

“Yes. When I first saw you on the 10th day of Habermia, you looked like a very cold person.”

What I said could also be interpreted in different ways. For dozens of days afterwards, he never spoke to me. He had always been standing next to Castor. Feeling his gaze as I died 40 times was not easy.

So, even if he felt the tiniest bit sorry for my death, the fact that he did nothing to stop it did not change.

“Cold…”

As someone who lived purely on his instincts, perhaps Castor realised that the three major motivations of a human was hunger, sleep and murder. Seeing his loyal aide like this made me a little emotional. However, I soon calmed down and faced him nonchalantly.

“You could have been.”

If Castor had given him the command right then, he would have killed me without hesitation.

“Why aren’t you like that to me?”

“Do you mean to ask why am I not cold to you?”

“Yes.”

“Why would there be a reason for that?”

“Then why am I here? I had injured myself trying to help my brother. Was this what you and my brother planned for? I’m confused now.”

He gazed at me for a moment before looking down to stare at the floor meaninglessly.

“… Though I don’t know what the meaning behind Castor’s actions are, I know those are not my intentions.”

As soon as I heard that, I no longer wanted to be alone with him in a confined space when I felt so restless. Hernan cleaned up the remaining herbs and bandages before smiling openly at me.

“If you’re asking me why I am not cold, then I no longer want to be. I don’t know why I should be cold to you in the first place.”

His clear gaze turned to me.

“I’ve seen you before. Long before you thought we had first met. Was the person you saw the first time we met different from the one in front of you now?”

Very.

“Well, how do I say this? Someone who would smile like this… I wouldn’t think you were someone like that. I was scared that day.”

He just watched me die.

“You looked to be very smart but you couldn’t even answer me when I asked you why I was here.”

“Haha…”

He smiled at me gently. His eyes that gazed upon me were filled with affection and warmth for some reason.

“It was because I really did not know whether I should just ask you about everything I was curious about.”

As we promised, Hernandez looked at me straight in the eye. There was nothing hidden in his clear gaze.

“Because you’re brother’s knight, there’s so much you don’t know.”

Hahaha, Hernan burst out laughing like a lily rapidly blooming in the middle of the lake. As he flashed a smile as refreshing as a breeze, a mysterious yet sad gaze flashed across his clear eyes.

“Yes, even after being next to him for 10 years, I can never understand his intentions. It had happened too many times for me to count…”

His reply sounded like an important piece of information I should have latched onto but my mind did not feel like dwelling on anything too deeply for now.

I did not trust him.

After not moving it for a while, I had lost feeling in my fingers. I squeezed them tightly. I was tired.

“But, Princess.”

Closing my eyes on the dizziness I was feeling, Hernandez gave me a small whisper, startling me awake.

“I have no intentions on hurting you.”

As the sun fell, the carriage arrived at the pick up point. Sir Ray, who had arrived first, leaned against the carriage and looked up when he sensed me coming.

“You’ve arrived?”

The sunset deepened the blue of his eyes.

“Yeah.”

With a vague reply, I tried to climb onto the carriage myself.

Then, I hesitated before speaking.

“… Where’s the ladder?”

“The coachman said that it broke.”

He held my shoulder as he smiled.

“Would you like to borrow me?”

“… I have no other choice.”

When he seemed to be dissatisfied with my answer, he cried out, “If you really don’t want to, I’ll just lie down and let you step over me.” I barely managed to catch the man who was about to lie down and prevent him from doing so. At this point, no one would be able to tell that I was supposed to be the boss of him.

“Are you tired?”

“Of course, I’m only 14. This is too early of an age to do labour.”

I had already experienced death. No matter how I looked at it, I could only look at life sadly. Or maybe I had just been wandering aimlessly since the fate of this world had already been predetermined because it was that of a novel’s. Even when a diary of unknown origins came into my hands and controlled my choices.

“There must be more scars on you that I don’t see but it’s not like you’ll tell me even when I ask.”

“So you know.”

I should not have fidgeted with my collar. Even if I covered my neck, my thighs and forearms were still exposed.

A little later, the carriage took off. The only ones on board were me, Sir Ray and some baggage as the sound of the wheels turning filled the space. Feeling sleepy in the calm silence, strangely, Sir Ray spoke up.

“Princess.”

“What.”

“Why did you come here to work even when the Princes all opposed.”

Hearing not a trickle of caution in his voice, I smiled even with my eyes closed.

‘He’s asking me so casually.’

I told him not to ask so instead of asking about my injuries, he asked about something else. Furthermore, he managed to ask something that all the maids, my nanny, Hannah and Fleon could not even bring themselves to ask for the whole month.

When I had been moving Hannah’s bloody body, Fleon’s face suddenly appeared in my face. When Dane first came to visit my private residence after the incident, he had been furious.

“Don’t leave.”

On the day the Duke with hair as white as snow came and took me away. When my young brother grabbed onto me with that handsome face of his, I heard him ask hesitantly.

“Don’t leave. I’ll help you find a way so that you won’t need to leave. Why are you smiling like that…?”

What was wrong with Dane? I did not die and we managed to meet each other again. He should have been happy.

“Why? Why would you want that?”

“I’ve only been gone from here for a while but I feel as if you’re nothing like whom I used to know.”

I was quite happy to see him since I thought I would never be able to see him again but I guess Dane did not share the same sentiments. For me, it had been three months since I had last seen him. And I had no choice but to leave. What if Castor were to return again? I had no other choice if I did not want to die again.

My hair fluttered gently. Listening to the wheels turn rhythmically, I wondered what would have happened if I had arrived in this world. Would Ashley be the one going through all this in my place?

Would the world have given Ashley better buffs and benefits? Where did Ashley herself disappear to when I appeared? Would she have handled this any better than me? The wind that blew past my face was cool and I began to drift off into sleep.

I had run, rolled around, died and gotten hurt. I was in a romantic drama but I was not any of the main characters. But it felt as if I was filming all the action scenes in the place of the female lead. I was this desperate. Why could the novel not mention even one line about my existence?

Why was I suffering like this?

“… Because I wanted to live.”

Finally, before I fell asleep, I felt a feather-like warmth wrap around me in the form of a blanket.

“Go to sleep. I’ll wake you up when we reach.”

I had no energy to reply to him so I listened to the echoes of his low voice before falling asleep. When I opened my eyes again, I was laying on a cozy bed.

“Ashley.”

“… Dane.”

I could see a lone star floating in the dark sky. My young brother who looked even more beautiful than the sky seemed as if he was going to cry. I blinked at him before opening my mouth. I felt as if he had something he needed to say. He stroked my neck and whispered very quietly.

“Sorry.”

I wanted to tell him that whatever he was sorry for, it was not his fault but my words did not come out because sleep took over me again.

***

“What? You’ve never been downtown?”

It was around the time when Soricks, the Templar of Owls, visited the office.

Today, once again, I was listening to Granius lecturing me with his stories on how to be good at my job as a half-spy.

Before suddenly, Soricks asked me if I had ever been to the forum in the middle of the capital.

“Yes, I haven’t.”

The forum he was referring to was a square in the middle of our capital. I shook my head gently.

“Then what about Agora? Have you seen gladiator fights? The shops or the people outside of this palace?”

“Uh, uhm. Well, I came from the countryside.”

I vaguely recalled the conversation I had with Anna the other day. She had been a poor girl who hailed from the countryside and had no time to look around the capital. Soricks widened his eyes as he squatted in front of me as he complained to Granius as to how this could be possible.

“You’re being noisy. Is she the only child in this world that deserves pitying? While you yabble on, I’m actually trying to take care of the capital and figure out how to decrease our crime.”

“How could you speak so coldly!”

Even Penne, his deputy-in-chief, who tagged along, nodded in agreement.

I could not nod.

It was because I knew from yesterday’s events that Granius was not just any regular smiling uncle. Even whilst he was smiling, I could never tell what he was thinking.

I was just a child who ran errands in this place but I had become known to be the daughter of a fallen noble who had been treated unfairly relative to my pretty appearance. Usually, a child who only helped to run errands would not be even allowed to enter the Aedile’s office and would have to wait outside the door but they could tell I was important just by the fact that I was allowed into the place where people would talk about important things.

Moreover, Granius knew who I was.

If he knew who I was, then did he know why I was sent here? Though he did say he did not know.