I'm A Spider, So What?

228 Whyyy!?

Author’s note: Demon King’s perspective

Meh. Nothing to do. How’d this happen?

At the Demon King’s castle, I should have been beginning my work as the Demon King, and yet while I was travelling I was far busier somehow, right? How strange.

At the Demon King’s castle a typical day goes: get up early and have breakfast, loiter around, have lunch, laze around, have supper, slouch around, sleep.

Oh? Isn’t that, like a NEET? Strange. I’m the Demon King. But what I’m doing is no different to a NEET?

Well, it’s somewhat unavoidable. Yeah, since the disappearance of the previous Demon King, Balto’s been there keeping the demons together the whole time. With me suddenly popping up from nowhere, there’s no need to order others to do this or that. Actually, if I did that it would just result in confusion instead. In short, I just need to convey the general objective. For now that’s to focus on building up the army.

I am referred to as the oldest Divine Beast, yet there’s not much I can do in government. Anyhow, it’s been too long since I got involved with this government stuff. Theoretically I know about it, but I’d have to admit that it may be impossible in practice for me. Even if I tried I’d probably be at the bottom of the pile for years, ending as a good-for-nothing who just messes up the place. Therefore, there’s been nothing for me to do for now.

The King reigns but does not govern. Yeah, I’m the personification of that saying. Day by day I feel that those around me are increasingly giving me the cold shoulder, but I’m surely just imagining it.

Hrm. But, this is boring. If it’s going to be this boring then maybe I should bring Shiro-chan with me? I bet that girl is doing nothing but loafing around the mansion anyway. Ah, better not. The NEETs will just increase then. Crap. It’ll become a blizzard of cold shoulders.

Actually, the eyes of Balto’s little brother Blow have been stabbing daggers at me lately. Blow is the sub-commander of the 4th army. After Balto got tied up with government, it became Blow who commanded the 4th army in practice. He looks like a hoodlum version of Balto. But, contrary to those looks, he only really has the ability to master office work. Perhaps it’s due to looking up to his elder brother continuously organizing the demons, he has proven to be not inferior in excellence to his brother. He has a tendency to over-idolize his elder brother, but that’s okay I reckon! The taboo of siblings in…

So, the current situation where that Blow’s esteemed elder brother is bowing before a mysterious NEET, that would surely rile him up. Mysterious NEET – that’s me. I’m the Demon King that has displaced his esteemed elder brother. From Blow’s point of view it appears that I have undeservedly stolen the throne of the Demon King. Gnnn. It’s urgent that I make him realize my greatness. But, how?

Get working? No deal. It’s a pain, totally bleargh, and like I said earlier if I start crudely intervening in government it’ll have the opposite effect. Balto has the track record of gathering the demons without mishap, so it’s more effective to just leave it all to him.

Shake him down a bit? No deal. If it goes poorly then my image could go from bad to worse. In the sense of making him acknowledge my strength, it’s certainly the fastest. Though if I overdo the lesson and he starts moping around or something it would be unbearable. He obviously has a lot a pride, so it’ll probably take him some time to recover from merely submitting to me. From a long term point of view that seems likely for his personal development, in which case, his chances of recovery would be like 50-50. Most of all, in a critical period like this it’s not good to render a good pawn inoperable.

So what, is left? Nothing? Th, that can’t be. It’s surely possible that there’s an awesome way to make everyone recognize my greatness! Surely it’s possible, right?

While I’m seriously struggling here, there’s a knock on the door. After giving permission, in comes the Balto and Blow brothers.

「Excuse me.」

Bowing his head politely while entering is Balto, and sullenly silent is Blow. Even when Balto glances at him in rebuke, Blow ignores it. Seems like he can’t stand me to the extent of ignoring his esteemed brother’s guidance.

「Maou-sama, I wish to consult with you.」

「On what?」

「Surely you jest. How could you not know, Maou-sama?」

Balto inquires with a wry looking smile. Hm? I don’t get where he’s coming from. Seems like it should be obvious to me what Balto wants to consult about, but I’ve seriously got no clue.

「Sorry. I’m really not following you here, what is it?」

On my frank admission, Balto and Blow turn to each other. It bothers me that Blow has a somewhat triumphant expression.

「Brother, it’s like I said right? She’s so incompetent that she doesn’t even understand what her subordinates are up to.」

「Blow, I apologise.」

「Nah. Let’s get this straight. She’s unfit to be the Demon King.」

「Blow!」

Suddenly I’m being dissed. Why? What’s going on? I’m more confused than angry over this nonsense they’ve brought with them.

「Umm, how about you tell me what you wanted to consult with me about?」

「Certainly.」

While breaking out in a cold sweat, Balto hands me some documents.

「Based on the intelligence that Shiro-dono has gathered, the illegal activities of Warkis the present general of the 7th army has become clear. Furthermore, it has been determined that his secret plans for a coup d’état have advanced and before long would be staging a revolt. There is adequate proof.」

I look at the materials in my hands. Recorded in them is proof of illegal activities from numerous intelligence reports. Er, what are you up to, Shiro-chan?

「By successfully determining their actions at an early stage, I believe we should attack them instead to take decisive action to suppress them before they can launch their coup d’état. For that reason, I wish to seek authorization to deploy the 4th army under Blow’s command.」

Oh, ahh. Let’s see. Erm? Well for now, let’s go with that, yeah.

「I’ll leave it to you.」

That’s the only thing I can say. Though Shiro-chan, seriously, what are you up to? This is obviously top secret internal information you know. So how did you get hold of it then?

To my half-hearted response, Balto nods without batting an eyelid. Blow has a vein about to pop on his forehead, but before he can say anything his head is forced down by Balto.

「Then, we shall proceed as discussed.」

Balto bows his head and at the same time increases the force on Blow’s head to also make him bow. Seems like Blow had to hold himself from almost brushing off that hand. Forcing up his head, he gruffly stomps out of the room. Balto bows his head again, then follows after.

Ah-hah, then, this is why I was thought to be so incompetent that I don’t even understand what my subordinates are up to. On top of that, what Shiro-chan obtained was bumper sized intelligence. An incompetent boss with capable subordinates. That’s how you think of me, huh? Shiro-chan of all people.

Whyyy!? How did this happen!?

Translation notes:

When “maou” (demon king) is used as a title I left it as is, eg “maou-sama”.

Balto’s speech patterns are fairly polite, unlike his younger brother who talks quite roughly to everyone.