The Decade of Deep Love

Wenxu Jiang was quite restrained and just made once. He stroked the soft hair of Zhishu He and whispered, “Let me hold you to take a shower.”

Zhishu He shook his head and buttoned his pajamas in the dark.

“Don’t you worry about getting a stomachache tomorrow?”

Zhishu He was so tired that he was gonna fall asleep; lying down huddled up with his back to Wenxu Jiang, he responded, “I’ve been used to it.” At first he couldn’t stand it. But if no one spoiled him, he could tough it out no matter being beaten or scolded.

Wenxu Jiang hugged him from behind and said, “Well, sleep tight. Let me hug you.”

It was rare for Zhishu He to fall asleep faster than Wenxu Jiang did. Such a thin figure was lying peacefully in Wenxu Jiang’s arms, and the hair of Zhishu He rubbed Jiang’s chest, which made Wenxu Jiang feel warm and itchy in his heart. Wenxu Jiang got up early in the morning. And when he came back the room after bustling a few hours quietly, Zhishu He did not wake up yet. So he sat at the bed and looked at him carefully.

Zhishu He had lost a lot of weight. His chin was sharper, and his lips were a little pale. When Zhishu He stayed at home alone, certainly he wouldn’t bother to eat right. Besides, he had to endure all pains and grievances and hide them deep in his heart. So it was impossible for him to gain a few pounds.

As Zhishu He opened his eyes, he found the man staring at him closely. Wenxu Jiang must still be busy today because he had already dressed up with a customized suit, which set off his wide shoulders, long legs and handsome face; he was such a beast in human clothing.

Looking at the addled face of Zhishu He, who obviously had not woken up completely, Wenxu Jiang felt so fond of him. Jiang said, “Now that you wake up, get up and take a shower. I have made breakfast for you.”

Zhishu He nodded with a yawn while sitting up. He finally had a good sleep, so he was in a good shape now.

Wenxu Jiang smiled and tapped Zhishu He’s fuzzy hair with his big hand. When he took back his hand, he glanced at the watch and realized the time, “Zhishu, I’m going to sign a contract later. So I can’t accompany you today.”

“After the contract is signed, I will give you a big red packet for the New Year’s Day tomorrow.” Wenxu Jiang turned around to go out of the bedroom. It seemed that he remembered something, when he suddenly asked, “What do you want to eat tonight? I’ll come back early to cook, and we’ll have dinner together.”

Zhishu He pursed his lips and forced a smile reluctantly, “Brother Jiang, come here.”

Wenxu Jiang could see that there was sadness or solemnness or other emotions hidden under the smile of Zhishu He, who was like a warrior making a final decision before death. For a moment he could not describe Zhishu’s feelings exactly but directly walked over.

Suddenly, Zhishu He held Wenxu Jiang closely for half a minute, and then gently bit Wenxu Jiang’s chin, “Come back early tonight.”

Wenxu Jiang’s mind was distracted, “Don’t worry, Zhishu! I’ll cancel it and stay with you. All right? I’ll tell the secretary to change the schedule.”

Pretending to dislike Wenxu Jiang, Zhishu He pushed him away, “Hold on! Go and make it. How come you become so sensitive? Who doesn’t know you’re a workaholic?”

Wenxu Jiang was still worried, but that customer was eccentric. So he may not be able to sign this contract ever if the schedule is changed. Wenxu Jiang thought to himself that Zhishu He couldn’t have any accident right at home.

Wenxu Jiang left ultimately.

Zhishu He did not return to his mind until he heard a dead thud of the security door. He rolled and crawled down from the bed. But the elevator door had been closed by the time he opened the door.

Zhishu He hurriedly ran into the living room and saw the man through the huge French window. It was still a view of his back. What Wenxu Jiang left to Zhishu He was always his back.

Zhishu He pressed his body hard against the window and said to himself, “Wenxu Jiang, look back and let me see your face once again.”

Wenxu Jiang never looked back. For the last time, Zhishu He was full of tears.

The last time he was crying while he was retching.

Zhishu He took a shower and washed himself clearly. Then he dressed himself up.

His favorite coat was bought by Wenxu Jiang seven years ago, which was camel and quite warm. At that winter, the man asked his secretary how to coax his beloved. Then he planned to take Zhishu He to watch a movie. As soon as they went out, it snowed. Zhishu He said that the most romantic thing on a snowy day should be enjoying a beautiful snow scene while drinking beer in a leeward open space.

There was no impression of romance left in Zhishu’s mind. He just remembered that it was so cold. They were so lucky that a clothing store had not closed yet..

The snow was very beautiful that day. Wenxu Jiang wrapped Zhishu He in his arms with his coat. And Wenxu Jiang’s eyes were brighter than ever. While drinking beer, Wenxu Jiang said it was the worst coat he had bought for Zhishu.

Zhishu He tied the scarf tightly, with the ID card, the bank card and 500-yuan change stored in the pocket of the coat.

He cooked a big meal for the cats and said reluctantly, “I’m sorry… I can’t take you away…” He was afraid that Wenxu Jiang could not stand these small animals after he left, but there was really nothing he could do about it.

He had never felt that leaving here was such an easy thing. He didn’t take anything superfluous, without that book, cats, his ring and even the medicine.

He didn’t turned on his mobile phone until he arrived at the railway station by taxi. As soon as he turned on it, there was a lot of notifications and few phone calls. Most were text messages from Ziyu Ai.

“I’m sorry, but I really have a strong feeling with you.”

“I know you’ve had a partner, but I can be better than him.”

“Don’t be angry. Just send me a message, okay?”

...

...

“Zhishu, you can ignore me. But you must come to the hospital for treatment!”

“It’s time for chemotherapy. Why haven’t you come yet? Don’t play a joke with your life because of me!”

“…If... If you don’t come yet, I will see you at your house!”

“Zhishu, I beg you...so long as you come, I promise I will never see you again.”

After reading the text messages, Zhishu He didn’t know how he felt. After hesitating for a moment, he called the doctor.

Soon, the dialing was answered, as if the doctor was waiting for the call.

“Is that Zhishu?!”

“I’m sorry for bothering you for so long a time, Dr. Ai…As to my illness, I quit therapy.”

Ziyu Ai was silent for a while, and suddenly he yelled, “I won’t allow it!”

Zhishu He said helplessly, “Why? I won’t live long whether I am treated or not.”

“I’ll see you at your home.” Ziyu Ai relaxed his tone, but with determination.

Zhishu He smiled and said, “I’m leaving, doctor. Take care of yourself.”

Zhishu He hung up and turned off the phone. Looking at the train ticket at 1:00 pm, he closed his eyes. ‘That’s it!’