Apocalypse Cockroach

Zhang Xiao Qiang yawned in boredom. The D2 had stopped once in awhile, and he would then use all his strength to thrust inwards, which would cause the D2 to go on its rampage again to fish for the moon.

Following the vibrations through the spear, Zhang Xiao Qiang would then follow the flow of the strength and run, in any case, as long as he stood behind the chrysanthemum of the D2, everything would be OK!

At the start, it was incredibly agonizing for Zhang Xiao Qiang. It was incredibly numbing and tormenting. However, as they say, those who suffer from the illness knows it well, through the constant revolutions, he had developed a new technique.

He gradually became accustomed to using only one hand to grab onto the spear. In fact, he didn’t need to use much strength as well. The moment he felt the vibration from the motion of the D2, he would automatically follow the flow of motion. It was as though he was walking a dog, and the Beast Horn Spear was the leash.

With the flow of time, the D2 became even slower, and Zhang Xiao Qiang even had the time to occasionally glance at Yang Ke’er.

Zombies were once humans after all, and they could not just keep on going forever like machines. Although the D2 was strong as hell, with the constant twisting and turning, its stamina was also depleting. In the end, it had even begun to ignore Zhang Xiao Qiang, ignoring the Beast Horn Spear stuck in its ass, and it stopped to rest.

Zhang Xiao Qiang was afraid that the moment the D2 recovered, he would be in trouble. Hence, each time the D2 came to a stop, he would forcefully thrust once more into the D2’s bum, and with each jolt of pain, the D2 would resume its motion of playing “the eagle catching the chicks” game.

“Ah!!!” Zhang Xiao Qiang yawned once more, he hadn’t slept very well yesterday, and this past hour had drained him of his energy. Although it was beginning to recover, he had since lost the sense of danger and the adrenaline had ebbed away, causing him to feel more tired, and couldn’t help but yawn again and again.

The D2 stopped moving, and Zhang Xiao Qiang stabbed once more.

“Hmm? It stopped moving?” There was no vibration from the Beast Horn Spear. It seemed as though the D2 couldn’t care about him poking its butt.

He resumed his corkscrew work, and the Beast Horn Spear went further in a few inches.

“AOOO~~~~” The D2 roared out in agony and resumed its futile attempts to fish for the moon.

“Just a small matter, you think I can’t toy with you to death?” Zhang Xiao Qiang licked his lips and began to run again.

After another 15 minutes, the D2 came to a stop again, and it really ignored everything. Seeing the D2 motionless, Zhang Xiao Qiang was speechless. However, he gritted his teeth, sticking one foot into the ground, and began gouging the D2’s bumhole, like the old-fashioned way of drawing water from a well, where villagers would shake the bucket vigorously. The blackened chrysanthemum of the D2 was violated even more.

Even the flesh around the area had been ground to a mess, and all one could see was a black hole.

“AO~~~~~” The D2 cried out in what must be the most miserable voice in history, causing shockwaves to assault Zhang Xiao Qiang’s ears. His hands tightened and began to run.

This time, the D2 did not stop and expended all its efforts to try and grab Zhang Xiao Qiang. He didn’t dare to let go, and began to focus, increasing his reaction to the changes as well as his running speed.

One man and one zombie continued in this strange scene, while Yang Ke’er was still lying on the ground, her fate uncertain. Zhang Xiao Qiang also didn’t know if his eyes were going blurry, but it seemed that Yang Ke’er’s posture seemed a little different?

The D2’s running became even more staggered, its legs starting to give way. Zhang Xiao Qiang was also gasping for air, his legs turning sore.

The vibrations traveled through the spear again, and Zhang Xiao Qiang went with the flow, running towards the left when suddenly, the D2 seemed to have become smarter, first twisting its body to the left, then changing direction and swung viciously to the right. The sudden opposing motion caused Zhang Xiao Qiang to let go of the spear involuntarily.

He finally came face to face with the D2, and he looked at the Beast Horn Spear stuck up the D2’s ass, before gazing back at the D2 lunging at him.

“Holy Mother!!!” He cried out and turned around to run.

Zhang Xiao Qiang and the D2 ran across the paddy field, in this spring weather. As the D2 ran, the Beast Horn Spear in its butt continued to shake, like a lightning pole, swaying with its steps.

Zhang Xiao Qiang had to utilize all sorts of dodging, rolling and evading techniques to escape the clutches of the D2.

The D2 was filled with intense hate for this puny human, and the man and zombie continued to run around Yang Ke’er, passing her body a number of times. The D2 was oblivious to Yang Ke’er, only setting its sight on that irritating human that had stuck something up its bum.

“Once I had a chrysanthemum in front of me,

but I didn’t treasure it

it was only when I lost it,

that I felt regretful.

It’s the most painful ordeal in this world.

If the heavens can give me another chance

I will definitely not let go

If there’s a need to put a number limit to this chance

I hope it’s ten thousand years!!!”*

Zhang Xiao Qiang was full of regret as he ran for his life. The D2 could have become a dead fish, but he had been too complacent in his reaction and now, he became the rabbit in front of a lion.

Zhang Xiao Qiang continued to run for his life amongst the field, as the D2 chased relentlessly behind. From time to time, it would raise its huge claws to slash at Zhang Xiao Qiang. It was not that Zhang Xiao Qiang didn’t think of using some form of cover to defend against the blows, but the field was so vast, and there was no obstruction anywhere. The D2 had a huge body, and even if it was stopped by ridges in the field, it would stagger slightly, before resuming the chase.

As he ran, he neared Yang Ke’er, when he heard the wind from behind. He leaped without thinking, and did a forward roll in mid-air, executing a body roll the moment he landed on the ground and stood up to run. In his hands, there was the Beast Horn Spear that had rebar as its shaft that he picked up.

The moment he picked it up, he felt like throwing it away. It was freaking heavy, weighing over 10 jins. He didn’t have the strength that Yang Ke’er had. He could carry it on a daily basis but carrying it while running was too much.

In the end, he decided not to throw it, his own Beast Horn Spear was still stuck in the D2’s bum, his pistol was not effective, and holding the heavier Beast Horn Spear was of some comfort to him.

Suddenly, Zhang Xiao Qiang eyed a ditch in front of him out of the corner of his eyes. It was about 2m wide, and the depth could not be seen clearly. Without a choice, he could only regard a dead horse as one that is alive to treat*, the D2 shouldn’t be able to jump so far.

He ran towards the ditch while continuing to grab the D2’s attention, and the moment he reached the ditch, he leaped.

He flew through the air and landed on the opposite side. As he had jumped too hastily, he was a little unstable, and he threw the Beast Horn Spear aside to roll. After coming to a stop, he finally diverted the momentum. Before standing up, he heard the loud “thud” behind him.

He twisted to look, the D2 had fallen into the ditch.

“AO~~~~” Seeing the prey that had escaped its clutches, the D2 roared in anger.

Zhang Xiao Qiang was by now numb to the enraged roars, he had heard it roaring countless times during the chase. However, he had to give it up for it, it could still roar so brightly and clearly each time.

He edged carefully forwards. The ditch had been cemented and was about 1.8m-deep. There was no water, instead, a thick layer of mud. The D2 had dropped in, with only its upper half visible, the bottom part of its body submerged in the mud.

The D2 was stuck in that constrained space and tried to lash out at the surrounding mud with its claws. The earth flew about, with dust and all sorts of mud being thrown around, as though heavy construction was being carried out.

The mud wall was starting to collapse, with the constant assault by the D2.

Seeing this, Zhang Xiao Qiang became anxious again. The D2 was likely to climb out after a while, and he pulled out his 54, walking up to within 1m away from its head, and raised his gun to fire at its head.

“Peng peng...” The bullets could not penetrate the bone but caused the D2 pain and it raised its arms to block in front as it tried to back up.

“AO~~~~~”

The D2 roared pitifully again, and Zhang Xiao Qiang saw that the Beast Horn Spear that had been stuck in the D2’s bum was pushed further in when the D2 retreated against the mud wall. The monstrous strength of the D2 coupled with the sturdy mud wall of the ditch caused the chrysanthemum to truly be split open.

TN:

*When I read this, I burst out laughing. This is one of the famous quotes of Stephen Chow’s character Joker/Sun Wukong in the Chinese Odyssey, the actual quote goes like this:

“Once I had one true love in front of me,

but I didn’t treasure her

it was only when I lost her,

that I felt regretful.

It’s the most painful ordeal in this world.

If I’m given another chance

I will say three words to her

“I love you”

If there a need to put a time limit on this love

I hope it’s ten thousand years” – taken from http://journalite.blogspot.sg/2008/08/quotes-from-chinese-odyssey.html

It’s a pretty good film!

*A Chinese idiom literally means: know clearly that things are impossible, or hopeless, but still try one’s best.

The author is seriously injecting a lot of humor and imagery in this single chapter.