Novel Bin Chapter 582 - I No Longer Have The Right, Is That It?
Chapter 582: I No Longer Have The Right, Is That It?
Translator: Nyoi-Bo Studio Editor: Nyoi-Bo Studio
Su Peizhen felt as though her heart ached with every pulse.
This ache was greater than when she had found out that she was not Li Qianxue’s daughter, and it made her feel even worse than when she had been exiled from the Li Family.
As she looked at Li Qianxue, the feeling of hurt stood out most among all the buried emotions in her gaze.
Li Qianxue noticed it, but she did not think that she was in the wrong.
In life, you had to give and take. She felt repentant towards Su Qingsang and had ended up choosing her, so she was not going to let Su Peizhen do anything to hurt her.
She was also not going to allow Su Peizhen to cause Su Qingsang any physical harm. While her words were coldhearted, they also made sense.
Su Peizhen could hate Su Chenghui, she could hate Xiang Caiping, and she could even hate her.
But Su Peizhen had no reason at all to hate Su Qingsang. She had lived over 20 years as the pampered daughter of the Li Family, which—to put bluntly—had been time Su Peizhen had robbed Su Qingsang of.
Su Qingsang had no obligation nor responsibility to bear the unreasonable hatred and anger that Su Peizhen felt towards her.
Su Peizhen felt as though her emotions were in great turmoil. As she looked at Li Qianxue, it took an extreme effort to not lose control of herself.
It was difficult...really difficult.
“So, what Aunt Li thinks is that I sent the video to you so that you would deal with Su Qingsang?”
Because she was so emotional, her voice trembled a little.
“Was that not the case?”
Li Qianxue gave her a cold smile. No matter how she worded it, Su Peizhen had been her daughter for many years. While she did not understand her daughter completely, she was still capable of understanding a good deal about her.
What Su Peizhen had intended to say through the video, she understood clearly.
When she had seen that video the first time after she had calmed down and thought about it a little, it was not a big leap for her to make that it was Su Peizhen who had sent it to her.
After all, Xiang Caiping was Su Peizhen’s real mother now, and the two of them were reported to have been living together for some now.
Thus, it would not have been odd for Su Peizhen to have had the opportunity to install cameras in her house. It would also not be odd for her to record the interactions between Su Qingsang and Xiang Caiping.
However, the fact that she had sent this video to Li Qianxue was a very purposeful move.
Having been in a mother-daughter relationship with Su Peizhen for many years, Li Qianxue did not even need to guess to know that her goal had been to drive a wedge between Li Qianxue and Su Qingsang’s mother-daughter relationship.
“You thought that I would be angry when I saw the video, didn’t you? That I would be unhappy?”
She had been angry indeed, and she was very unhappy.
After she had processed her unhappy thoughts and calmed down, however, she found herself feeling scared and fearful. She felt worried about what she could lose.
But in front of Su Peizhen, Li Qianxue would never let even a wisp of these emotions show.
“You thought that I would hastily find Su Qingsang and get mad at her after I saw the video?
“You thought that because of my tendency to nitpick and criticize, I would act rashly in such a situation?
“Was it not your goal to drive a wedge between our mother-daughter relationship after both of us have put in so much effort to get to know each other? Did you think that I would let you do as you wish?”
It really should not have to be mentioned that after having been Li Qianxue’s daughter for over 20 years, she understood her very well. She had formed her own very clear picture of Qianxue’s personality.
If not for Li Qianxue’s high self-control and inner ambition, she would not have been able to exude such poise in this situation.
Su Peizhen smirked. “You won’t do as I wish. So what? You’ll intentionally find me, warn me, and tell me not to hurt your precious daughter instead?”
“Yes.”
Li Qianxue nodded; her voice resolute as she said, “You thought that I wouldn’t know about the dirty tricks you’ve been playing behind my back? That I wouldn’t know what you planned on doing?
“Peizhen, just as much as you understand me, I understand you too. Losing everything the Li Family has provided you with and losing your identity as the eldest daughter of the Su Family must have been exceptionally unbearable for you.
“And now, the one who will receive everything that you used to have and become who you were is none other than Su Qingsang, the person you looked down on the most. How would you have felt? Do you think I won’t understand?”
Faced with Li Qianxue’s intense expression, Su Peizhen could only nod her head.
“And so, you thought that I would be unable to take it, you thought that I would go and take everything away from Su Qingsang?
“Wasn’t that the case?” Li Qianxue continued without holding back. “If you did not feel that way, why would you have sent that video to me? If you did not feel that way, why would you have put in all this effort to get close to Huo Yifan?”
“Don’t tell me that you were unaware of the relationship between Huo Yifan and Huo Jinyao. You knew all about it. You knew and you were convinced it would be a good way to get your revenge. Wasn’t that why you tried to get close to Huo Yifan— so that you could marry into the Huo Family?”
Su Peizhen had once thought that after having gone through so much, her heart would be unfeeling.
It was only now that she realized that her heart was not yet completely dead, and it was certainly not yet completely unfeeling.
She still held on to the sentiments of belonging to the Su family. She was still unable to part with certain things when it came to the Li Family.
When Li Qianxue faced Su Peizhen with such fierce antagonism, she felt only one thing.
Her heart being ripped to shreds.
“Aunt Li, in your heart, did you think that after losing my identity as the eldest daughter of the Su Family, and after losing the backing from the Li Family that—as a person—I would no longer be entitled to a happy life?”
This conversation was happening in Su Peizhen’s office, so she was not worried about being seen by others.
She stood up with a bang, glaring at Li Qianxue with a hostile expression.
“Go ahead and say it! When was it, after I lost the support from the Li family name, that I no longer have the right to be rich and wealthy again? That I am no longer eligible for happiness? Is that what you are saying?”
“That is not what I meant.”
Peizhen was, in the end, the daughter she had raised for many years, so Li Qianxue was hesitant to go overboard with her words. “Ultimately, you yourself will know the reason why you decided to get together with Huo Yifan.”
“I should know for myself?”
Su Peizhen laughed wryly, her eyes full of mockery.
“Mom.” After months, Su Peizhen suddenly uttered this word.
Li Qianxue’s body trembled, her eyelids slightly drooping, as she avoided looking Su Peizhen in the eyes.
“Mom!” Su Peizhen called again as she glared at Li Qianxue’s pale face.
“I’ve called you ‘Mom’ for over 20 years, but now I cannot even be compared to a finger’s worth of Su Qingsang in your heart now? Is that it?
“When you heard that I was together with Huo Yifan, were you unable to sit still any longer? Were you that afraid that I would go and get revenge on your precious daughter, was that it?”
Li Quanxue forced herself to not be swayed by Su Peizhen’s words. After all, she was older by quite a few years and had more experience dealing with conflict like this. She composed herself quickly.
“So, what you’re trying to say is, you and Huo Yifan are together because you felt something for him?”
“Why can’t that be the case?” Su Peizhen stared accusingly at Li Qianxue. “In your heart, does the daughter you raised not deserve to be wanted? Does she not deserve to be loved, to feel her own emotions, and pursue her own future?
“Even if I decided to get together with Huo Yifan with the slightest intention to compete against Su Qingsang, so what? Does that mean what I’m doing is a sin? Does that mean that it’s unforgivable?
“Su Qingsang can marry into the Huo Family but I can’t? Is that what you are trying to tell me?”
“That’s not what I meant! If you really want to be together with Huo Yifan, then of course I have nothing to say about it. I only wanted to let you know my stance on this matter.”
“So, your stance is to doubt all the reasons behind everything I do? Your stance is to see me, the daughter you’ve raised for over 20 years, in the worst possible light?”
“If not?” Li Qianxue raised her eyebrows at Su Peizhen, her gaze calm. “How else would you explain your motive behind sending me that video?”
“Motive? It was just because I wanted you to see Su Qingsang’s true self clearly, that’s all!”
Su Peizhen stood up and folded her arms across her chest, gazing down haughtily at Li Qianxue.
“What do you think she was trying to do? She acknowledged you as her mother and said that she is your daughter, but she also trailed alongside me, acting as though she is as close as a daughter to my own mother. She’s trying to get the best of both worlds, currying favor with the both of you. Why shouldn’t I try to expose her behavior?”
Li Qianxue thought about the scene where Su Qingsang and Xiang Caiping looked as close as mother and daughter, the small yet sweet smiles Qingsang gave Xiang Caiping when they made rice dumplings together.
Her heart felt an undeniable burst of discomfort. But looking up at Su Peizhen like this, she felt even more uncomfortable.
Smiling coldly, she stood up as well, so that she was eye-to-eye with Su Peizhen.
“Are you sure that all you wanted to do was expose her? Was it not the case that you wanted me to hold a grudge against her, and then distance myself from her?
“Su Peizhen, you think too much.”
“Are you saying that you wouldn’t?” Su Peizhen was certain that she understood Li Qianxue very well. She simply couldn’t believe that after watching that video, Li Qianxue would truly remain indifferent.
“I wouldn’t.” Li Qianxue straightened, her rigid and unbending spine acting as proof of her resolution. “Peizhen, you don’t seem to understand that Qingsang is different from you.
“When she went to see Xiang Caiping, I did feel a little unhappy. But after calming down, I felt moved instead.
“You cannot be unaware of the fact that before Su Qingsang and I came to know each other, she had treated Xiang Caiping like her own mother. Xiang Caiping has even clashed with you on Su Qingsang’s behalf about Japan, am I wrong?
“Xiang Caiping invested a lot of heartfelt sincerity in her relationship with Qingsang. If Qing Sang were to turn a blind eye to this kind of sincerity and treat her as a complete stranger now that she found her birth mother, wouldn’t I worry that one day she would also treat me as a complete stranger in the place of someone else?
“You didn’t realize that after watching the video you sent, I only loved Qingsang even more. After she acknowledged our relationship of being birth mother and daughter, she did not forget Xiang Caiping. This only shows that familial relationships matter a lot to her. I only feel pride for having such a daughter and I have no intention whatsoever to distance myself from her, much less hate her for it. I believe, Peizhen, that you will never understand such loyalty.”
Su Peizhen’s face had gone pale as she stared, her features turning somewhat sullen.
“You truly believe that?”
Li Qianxue nodded her head, and continued on, “Yes. I really do believe that. And to you, my ex-daughter, I wanted to give you a warning. No matter how righteous you try to make yourself sound, you cannot conceal the darkness in your heart.
“Peizhen, let me say the same thing one more time. In the future, I do not want to have to be involved in who you get together with, what kind of life you want to live, or what kind of family you want to get involved with. There is only one exception to this and that is where Qingsang and Yuxin are concerned. They are where I draw the line. I hope that you will understand that.”
“They are where you draw the line? What about me then? What about me?!”
Su Peizhen slammed her hand on the table forcefully. She rarely lost control of her emotions, must less let them burst out on her face like that. The scene that was occurring was one that was hard to come by.
“Must it really be like this between us? Mom? I’ve always called you ‘Mom’. In my heart, you’re still my mother, do you know that?”
Su Peizhen’s heart ached unbearably. She had lost control of her own emotions, but she didn’t want to control them anymore.
“Mom, you’re protecting Su Qingsang to such an extreme degree, but what about me? How long have you known Su Qingsang? Five months? Six? What about me? I’ve called you ‘Mom’ for 25 years, Mom. Mom! Is this how you will treat me from now on? You won’t even hesitate to trample all over me and hurt me, for the sake of a daughter you haven’t even known for longer than a few days? Is that how it’s going to be?
“Do these 25 years not hold a candle to the five months you’ve known Su Qingsang? Do you, and my birth mother as well, think that she’s better than me?
“I’m your daughter too!
Su Peizhen had truly lost control, her voice turning into howls.
“I, Su Peizhen, am your daughter too! The daughter you’ve raised for 25 years! Who has called you ‘Mum’ for 25 years! Why must you treat me this way? Why?”
Su Peizhen stepped around the table and walked, stride after stride, towards Li Qianxue.
“Mom! You’re my mom! I have always wholeheartedly thought of you as my mother. Do you know the reason why I am still unable to accept Xiang Caiping even until now? It’s because you’re my only mother in my heart! I acknowledge you, and only you, as my mom!”
She took a step with each sentence she spoke, coming closer each time she screamed.
Finally, she stood directly in front of Li Qianxue, her gaze full of anger and loathing.
“I respected you and loved you, even though I know you’re no longer my mom! I still held onto hope for you! I thought that one day you would understand that family bonds are not made by blood, but by interactions between people!
“At first, I thought you were just in a fit of anger. I thought that you simply resented my father for switching Su Qingsang and me at birth, and you would accept me again once you understood that. But why did you not acknowledge me as your daughter again?
“Mom, what have you done to me now? Do you even understand the words you are saying, what it is you have said to me? Huh?”
“If your daughter is Su Qingsang, then what am I to you? What am I to you?”
She threw question after question at her.
“That was your choice!” A complicated expression flashed in Li Qianxue’s eyes, even though it was very brief. “I did not exile you at the outset. I even agreed to let you remain with the Li Family. It was your choice to give it up, wasn’t it?
“It was your choice to leave the Li Family, and it was also you who decided to voluntarily leave with Xiang Caiping. It was especially so with your choice to break off all relations with the Li Family!”
Li Qianxue was referring to the fact that after Su Peizhen left the Li Family, she refused to give them even a single phone call, nor did she deliver any news to Li Qianxue through any other means.
She had already chosen of her own volition to uproot herself a long time ago, but now she was accusing Qianxue of giving up on her?
Qianxue had never wanted to give up on her and had even given Peizhen some leeway. It was she who had not wanted to remain in the family.
“Then what did you want me to do, huh? Did you want me to stand there and watch as Su Qingsang lords it over me?”
“She has a kind nature and a warm personality. She would not have done something like lord it over you.”
Li Qianxue subconsciously refuted on Su Qingsang’s behalf. Su Peizhen increasingly felt as though she was going to vomit blood in her anger.
“She wouldn’t, huh? Why wouldn’t she?
“Mum, in your heart, Su Qingsang is the hero, and I’m the villain. Look at what you are doing now. All I did was send you a video clip, and you came rushing all the way here to unleash your anger on me on her behalf.
“And you still call this kindness?”
“She didn’t know I came to find you.”
“She didn’t know? Of course. Even under such circumstances where she doesn’t know, you are already single-mindedly looking out for her. If she were to know, do you think that I, Su Peizhen, will ever have a place in the Li or Su Family? Do you?”
Li Qianxue furrowed her brows, confused by Su Peizhen’s attitude. “That’s because I know that your mind has already changed.”
The person who had sent that kind of video to her, who showed such hostile expressions, who give voice to such thoughts in front of her...
This daughter was no longer the same as the one she had raised in the past.
“I changed because you changed. It was you all who changed first.”
Su Peizhen’s eyes were red-rimmed and she struggled not to burst out crying.
Suddenly, she took another stepped forward, staring up at Li Qianxue. “Mom, I still want to call you ‘Mom’. Let me ask you one more time. I...can I go back to the Li Family? Would you be willing to accept me back into the Li Family?”
“I have never said that you were not allowed to stay at the Su Mansion. You can still continue to stay there if you want.”
“What about Su Qingsang? Will she stay there too?”
“That question is a meaningless one. You know very well that she will not pose any threat to you.”
“Even though she doesn’t pose any threat to me, she’s still the one who robbed me of everything I had.”
Su Peizhen rested both hands on Li Qianxue’s shoulders. “She took you away, took Yuxin away, and also took Grandpa away from me. Even Dad was taken away by her. Mom, what I want is very simple—I only want things to be the same way they were before. When we were still mother and daughter, Yuxin was still my younger brother, and Grandpa was still my grandfather. Why isn’t that possible? Why?
“Mom! I’m begging you here, can’t we go back to the way we were, please? Can’t we go back to being the same happy mother and daughter that we used to be?”
“I promise that as long as you don’t let Su Qingsang back into the Su Family, I won’t do anything. I won’t even marry Huo Yifan, okay?”
Her eyes were full of tears, but she resolutely did not allow them to fall. To Su Peizhen, things like money and status had become secondary.
What she could not stand the most, what she found most unbearable, was that her family, the family she thought of as her own, had eventually abandoned her.
Her eyes were red-rimmed, and her face was full of hope and desire.
Looking at herself now, it reminded Su Peizhen of when she was a kid. Li Qianxue abruptly turned her face away, not quite daring to meet Su Peizhen’s eyes.
“That’s not possible. I agreed to let you stay in the house, but Qingsang will forever be a part of the Su Family and she will always be your older sister.”
The hope on Su Peizhen’s face vanished. She retracted her hand and stepped back.
“So. Your final decision is still to give up on me, isn’t it?”
“Both of you can coexist peacefully. It is you who does not want it.”
“Yes, it’s me that doesn’t want it. But why should I?” Su Peizhen ground her teeth together, tilting her head to glare at Li Qianxue.
“You were clearly the one who said it. You said that I was the Li Family’s eldest daughter, that I was your little princess. You told me that I could desire anything in this world and that you would give it to me. Don’t you remember, Mom? When I was 17, you gave me a custom-made race car. You said that everything I had would be the one and only.
“Since that is the case, why can’t I desire exclusive maternal love from you? Why?”
Li Qianxue was at a loss as to how she should answer Su Peizhen’s question. Times had changed.
She had spoiled Su Peizhen too much back then and genuinely treated her exactly like a spoilt little princess.
“Don’t blame me. If you want to blame someone, blame your dad.”
Su Peizhen suddenly laughed, her face full of mockery. “Blame my dad? Why am I feeling like the one I should blame is me instead? It is me that was so dumb to have believed that all of your promises would be true. After all, you were only trying to placate a child when you casually said such things, whereas I treated them as the truth!
“Mom, I only want to continue being your daughter. Must you really be so cruel towards me?”
“I already said that the cruel one is not me, it’s your dad. It’s your dad who is the source of all this suffering, not me.”
Having said this much at this point, Li Qianxue felt a little suffocated. She didn’t want to stay here any longer.
Su Peizhen’s words were barbed and they still hurt her badly.
No matter how she phrased it, Peizhen really was still the daughter she had raised by herself, so Li Qianxue felt very uncomfortable when confronted with this line of questioning.
“Peizhen, you’re still my daughter after all. Whatever you may have done in the past, I no longer want to bring it up or pursue it. But from now on, I will absolutely not give you any opportunity to harm Qingsang, none at all. That’s all I have to say, try to conduct yourself better from now on.”
Su Peizhen stood there, her body turning somewhat stiff, somewhat wooden.
After hearing Li Qianxue’s final warning, she only felt a bitter taste in her tongue. Who knew that blood relations would turn out to be so important after all?
Li Qianxue no longer glanced at her, she turned and started walking towards the door. But the moment she opened the door, her whole body froze.
Wasn’t this woman Xiang Caiping?
Although she had already seen Xiang Caiping through the video, Li Qianxue never thought that one day, she would have to meet Xiang Caiping face-to-face in such a manner.
As both women gazed at each other, their ages adding up to be about 100 years, they remained stoic and unmoving.
Su Peizhen had not yet noticed the fact that Xiang Caiping had come. After all, Xiang Caiping was worried about upsetting her and had not entered her office for a period of time.
She continued standing where she had been while she pleaded with Li Qianxue, still caught up in her self-pity. She thought about the love and concern Li Qianxue showed to Su Qingsang and how she increasingly felt neither pain nor discomfort.
Just look at Su Qingsang now. She did not even have to lift a finger for Su Peizhen to easily experience the depths of failure, disappointment, pain, and discomfort.
In such a situation, what reason would she have for trying to reconcile with Su Qingsang?
Under this kind of circumstances, how could she even think about going back to the Su Family without harboring any grudges, and continue living as a family with Li Qianxue?
No, she refused to do so. She would rather not belong to that family than to have a sister like Su Qingsang.
When she looked in the direction that Li Qianxue had departed in and found Qianxue unmoving, she felt secretly gleeful.
She thought that Li Qianxue must have regrets. However, she quickly saw that the person standing opposite Li Qianxue was none other than the still form of Xiang Caiping.
“Mom?”
The word “Mom” had been called out very softly. Su Peizhen suddenly felt a stab in her conscience.
Had Xiang Caiping been listening to everything she had said to Li Qianxue?
When Xiang Caiping heard the call of “Mom”, her gaze swiftly swept past Li Qianxue’s shoulder, in the direction of Su Peizhen.
“Who were you calling?”
Li Qianxue did not turn back as she stood in the doorway with her gaze fixed on Xiang Caiping.
After so many years, this was the first time that she had directly encountered Xiang Caiping. Compared to the Xiang Caiping in the video, the one in front of her appeared to look like your commonplace, run-of-the-mill aunt.
No matter how you looked at her, she clearly seemed to be an ordinary, mundane woman. How had she managed to thoroughly capture Su Chenghui’s heart for over 20 years?
Li Qianxue closed her eyes. When she opened her eyes again, she resolved to move, wanting to leave the place.
But Xiang Caiping remained unmoving, her body blocking the way that Li Qianxue needed to take to leave. Xiang Caiping’s gaze, however, swept between Li Qianxue and Su Peizhen.
“Just now, when you called ‘Mom’, who were you referring to?”