Valerian, The Legendary

Valerian did not hear her words as he was already deep inside the realm of dreams. This place has never shown him any scenery before, all the boy could recall was a white empty space, as he stood in front of the huge tree in the clearing. He was looked around and suddenly he smile gently, this place was something he could not be anymore familiar with.

He walked closer to the tree and sat under its shade. He said, “I am here to see you mum.”

The happiness and serenity in his voice was something that could melt even stones. Valerian raised his hand to touch the trunk of the tree, but found that his palms were surprisingly smaller. They were akin to that of a toddler. As if he realized something, he touched his face and stood up to look at the ground.

He mumbled, “I have become younger?”

The lush canopy swayed over his head and an ethereal voice sounded behind him. “Val, when did you come here?”

Valerian was surprised and turned around to check the person, he was shocked. His emotions were all over the place as he rushed forward and jumped in the embrace of the figure that called him out. The figure chuckled and patted his back. She said, “Oh, looks like someone missed me.”

Valerian did not say much but buried his face in her arms and sobbed. The child himself was surprised knowing that he could cry now. He realized that it was a dream but he did not wish to wake up from it and his sobs turned into cries.

For the first time in his life, he was crying, he wanted to let out all the pain that he has been carrying inside him from the age of three. He cried to vent his painful days in the orphanage, and then for the loss of his mother Diligentia, then for the loss of his parents, the short meetings with his mother that he had. All that pain, was flowing out of his eyes like a river.

.....

The figure did not try to stop him either, but with a teary smile she patted his back and said, “Yes, my child, Let it out. I am here with you now, let it out.”

Valerian raised his head and said, “Mother, I miss you. If only I was stronger, you would have been safe, be here with me for real.”

His voice was not the same normal one because he was crying at the same time. The figure holding him in her arms was none other than Diligentia. The lady smiled benevolently and said, “If I was here, than would my child have grown into a strong man, who is admired by so many people?”

Valerian shook his head like a rattle and replied, “I am not strong, I do not know what I am anymore. I feel like a monster, mother do you know that I killed so many people and I do not even remember why I did what I did? I have become a curse, just like Gloria used to say, just like everyone else used to say. I am a jinx, who only causes destruction.”

His tears did not stop as he talked, he let go of Diligentia, as he was about to kneel and cry. However, the lady in front of him held him tightly and said, “What did I teach you? Those who cry are naughty children. Did you forget?”

Valerian shook his head and said, “I did not forget that, but I am in pain, you know what people are saying out there? They say that someone like me who killed a thousand people is their hero. How can someone who kills another person or creature be a hero? And for what? Power? I feel so ashamed of myself that I have nothing to say to those people.”

Diligentia shook her head and said, “You think too much, my love. How can you be a curse? It was not you who killed all those people. The thing that killed them is a mystery, let us put that aside for the time being. You killed all those people, because you were fighting for a cause, and they died because they were doing the same thing.

When you move forward with a cause you believe in, things are bound to happen, and as a grown up, you should not think too much about it and let it make you feel distressed.”

Valerian shook his head and said, “How can you say this, my hands were covered with blood, I tried hard to take it off but it did not go away. I tried to attack Ignis because he was asking too many questions. What have I become? If I am not a monster than what is?”

Diligentia smiled and sat down under the shade of the tree. She placed Valerians head in her lap and said while patting it ever so gently, “A monster is something that does not have any conscience of the things they do. They do not care of what the others think about them. They only know how to destroy and have no remorse in their hearts. You, my dear boy have a conscience that is making you ask yourself, are you a good man? A monster will never question himself.”

Valerian had calmed down a little after putting his head in her lap. He asked back, “But only asking questions does not make you a good man, does it?”

Diligentia smiled and said, “Hmm, there is just a fine line between madness and angry. The people who cross over to madness and manage to come back are called angry. Those who get trapped in that anger are called mad. You ask yourself these questions because you are missing a point.”

Valerian asked her, “What point?”

Diligentia replied, “The cause you fought for. You wanted to protect the people in the city and even more, the innocent civilians in the nation. Imagine if those Valkyrians were to get past here, what would have happened to the people of the nation?”

Valerian was upset but not stupid, he knew what Diligentia meant by this question. The civilians inside the nation would have suffered from pillaging, Women would have been raped and imprisoned while males would have been sent off to slave in the fields and mines. Children would have been forced to serve the invaders.

The royal family would have been executed, and so would the royal court. The fate of those who lost to the Valkyrians was worse than death. This was not something that any human being should suffer from. Valerian understood this and asked in doubt, “So what happened in that forest was a good thing?”

Diligentia shook her head and said, “The loss of a life is not a good thing, however, what happened was necessary to save more lives from being destroyed. Do you not think so?”

Valerian did not reply her and stayed silent. He looked at the distant sky with obscure clouds and took a deep breathe. He understood the need of stopping people from harming others, and he also understood the fact that Valkyrians were not the ones who liked to listen to reasoning.

He let go of his breath and said, “What you said seems to be true. I guess it was necessary for my body to take that route, but still my heart is not at ease with what happened as I have no recollection of those moments. Every time something like this happens, a voice rings out in my mind, and then I lose consciousness.

The first time this happened five Valkyrians were so scared that they committed suicide. I do not know what could have made them do it.”

Diligentia smiled and patting his head she said, “My child, among all the questions that you have, why not add another one? I am sure that the answer will present itself in front of you really soon.”

Valerian raised his head and looked at her in askance, “How can you be so sure, Mother?”

“Is that not the case every time? Did you not the answers of the questions you really pondered about? Like the identity of your mother, how was Fragrantia knew your identity? Your rest of questions will be answered as well.”, said Diligentia.

Valerian asked, “Mother, will you come to meet me in future as well?”

Diligentia chuckled and said, “Stupid, when did I ever leave your side? Do I not live in your heart?”

Valerian was surprised and then smiled brilliantly. He said, “No you did not.”

His eyes had turned slightly red, as he realized it was time for parting again. After all, the person in front of him was just a figment formed from his memory of Diligentia’s character and the reason she could console him was because of his longing for her.

He might not get a chance like this again in the future. Valerian began to sob again, and Diligentia wiped his tears, she bend down and pecked his forehead as she said, “May Vita watch over you, my love. Be strong, be calm, and always believe in yourself. You are a shining star in the dark skies of this world. Do not forget that you have people who love you. Now go, the world is waiting for you, I love you, son.”

Valerian sat up slowly and hugged Diligentia as he said, “Thank you for your wisdom, and I love you too, Mother.”